


This is my wife River and her boyfriend Jack

by Ineffablemurderhusbands



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flirting, Open Relationships, Surprise Kissing, prison break - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23151532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffablemurderhusbands/pseuds/Ineffablemurderhusbands
Summary: Jack and River break the Doctor out of jail.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Jack Harkness, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song, thirteenth doctor/river song/jack harkness
Comments: 14
Kudos: 259





	This is my wife River and her boyfriend Jack

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I had this idea while reading @fensandmarshes fanfic and I had to write my little spin of it. 
> 
> It's the middle of the night and I'm super tired so I have no idea how this turned out but I truly hope you like it. Please leave kudos and especially comments if you do. Help a mediocre teacher feel good when she thinks all she does is fail.

When Jack found out that the Doctor had been captured by the Judoon, he left everything behind to go help her out. Of course, he went without an actual plan and with no idea what she looked like this time around, apart from the fact that she was a woman now. But at least he knew where she was so that was an advantage, or that was what he was telling himself. 

So off Jack went with an artron energy localizing device in his hand and a lot of hope that he would find her. At least if he got caught breaking into Stormcage, he could always kill himself and be taken to the morgue where he could wake up and try again. 

Stormcage was a terrible terrible place but it was easier to break in when their whole point was trying to keep people from breaking out and not in, so Jack managed to crawl his way inside without much difficulty and without tipping off any alarms. Jack didn’t know why the Doctor had been imprisoned but he knew that the reason why she was in Stormcage was that she a great flight risk. At least he was getting strong artron energy signals which meant that the Doctor was quite near. 

Jack turned a corner and he finally found her. The Doctor was laying in her bed wearing a prison uniform and reading a book. She was absolutely stunning with a full body figure, noticeable even under the unflattering fabric. Her hair was blonde and curly and was tied in a ponytail. The woman looked completely unfazed by her imprisonment and Jack had to smile as he saw her. He made quick work of the security devices of her door and soon he was entering the cell, causing the woman to drop her book and sit down on her bed in alarm. 

“WHA-“ She started to say but Jack interrupted her with a eager peck on the lips. 

“I’m so happy to have found you.” He finally said with a smile as big as the sun. “By the way, loving the new body, this more mature look really suits you.” 

It was a second after he enthusiastically said all of this that Jack realized that he had a gun pointed to his belly and a quick look down confirmed his thoughts. “You’re not the Doctor, are you?” He asked with a wince, already knowing the true and waiting for his imminent death. 

“I’m not.” The woman responded. Her stance changed from the aggressive but she still kept her gun firmly lodged in place. Smart woman, Jack thought. “Who are you?” 

“I’m Captain Jack Harkness, it’s a pleasure.” He said with all his charm and a little wink for good measure. “And who you might be?” 

“Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you, Mister Harkness.” River smiled sultrily at him and Jack felt his legs almost giving out. “I’m Professor River Song. And may I inquire what do you want with my husband?” 

River Song. Of course Jack had heard of her. They usually worked the same circuits so they knew of each other but they had never met. She was notorious, educated, fierce and absolutely stunning. A legend. Of course she was the woman that had captured the Doctor’s hearts. He envied her just a little bit for it. He knew of the whole story, it was a well-known fact that River Song had married the Doctor but he didn’t know all the details. When he had last met the Doctor, they weren’t married yet, or at least she hadn’t married that Doctor. He also knew that she was in jail for killing the Doctor but the Doctor was very much alive as he had gathered so far so she was innocent. Well, not innocent but not guilty of murdering her husband. 

“Husband?” He smiled and laughed, feeling giddy. “Oh, you’re gonna be in for a surprise.” 

River raised her eyebrow and dropped her gun so he could explain his predicament, so explain he did with all the little details and all the little hand movements he could make. 

“And I have no idea what she looks like!” He finished, throwing his hands up. “Wait, how can you have artron energy?” He asked and she smirked. 

“It’s a long story.” She said getting up from her bed. “Turn around, love boy. I need to change.” 

Jack pouted but did what was asked of him. He was nothing if not a gentlemen. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“I need to meet my wife.” 

A few minutes later River was ready. She had loosened her hair, put on some makeup and also changed her clothes. Now she was wearing a white shirt with a denim jacket, high heeled boots and tight pants. Jack didn’t miss the phasers strapped to her thighs as well, the woman was packing some serious heat. “How are you married to the Doctor if they hate guns?” He couldn’t help but ask. 

“He makes an excuse for me, he finds it sexy instead.” She said with a wink and Jack found himself a little bit in love. 

“Well, he’s right.” He said and she throatily laughed, causing a shiver to go down Jack’s spine. 

“Oh Jack, flattery will get you everywhere.” She winked at him again. “C’mon, let’s find that idiot.” 

Looking at the wall, the Doctor mentally counted one more day inside that prison cell with no way out and no contact with the outer world. Nobody knew she was there. Her Fam thought she was dead, her sonic had been thrown out and her cell was completely made out of sturdy wood for good measure so she couldn’t hack it. The Judoon had made their homework well, she was doomed to stay there without even having the decency to die since now she knew she was completely and truly immortal. Even in her lockdown and having plenty of time to think things over, still nothing made sense. Her brains were in a scramble and she couldn’t see what was real or not. Sighing and trying to carve a little figure in the wood to pass her time, the Doctor heard the first signs of struggle outside her cell far away and it kept getting louder and louder until it seemed it was right behind her door. 

She got up from her sitting position on the ground and made her way to the door, placing her ear on the wood. She heard a ticking sound and instantly scurried away as fast and as far as she could before the door fell to the ground in a little controlled explosion. Coughing from the smoke, the Doctor squinted her eyes to try and see through the smog and she could faintly see the outline of two people in the corridor outside. Soon her doubts were eradicated because Jack and River strode forwards, entering her cells with big guns on their hands. The Doctor could feel her jaw dropping. 

“Hello sweetie.” River said with a smile. 

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get out of here!” Jack said, throwing her sonic back. The Doctor didn’t even got time to gather her bearings because she was being pulled from her cell by two hands and then they were running for their lives. 

“I love the new body, by the way.” Jack shouted over the ruckus as River shot a few guards that dared to run towards them. 

“Oh Jack, you say that to all the girls you think are the Doctor.” River said in teasing to him. 

“All the boys too.” He said, throwing a wink at her and making her laugh. 

“You’re shameless!” She shouted back as he saved her by shooting a guard. 

“Oh, you love it!” He flirted back. The Doctor watched the interaction with wide eyes and an open mouth. Her brains felt like it was a default blue screen on a computer, her could not ratiocinate right now. Good thing her companions at the moment where more than capable of getting her out of that pickle. 

“H-how do you know each other?” She managed to ask as they extricated themselves from the guards and made their way over to a ship. 

“We’ve just met.” River said as she covered their backs. 

For the first time in a few weeks, the Doctor wasn’t thinking about how her whole life was a lie and all the things the Master had uncovered for her. All she could think about was her wife flirting with her boyfriend – ok, not boyfriend but it sounded funnier that way in her head. 

They made it to the ship and Jack immediately made his way to the control room where he made damn sure they could escape in record time. “Be ready, the ride it’s gonna be bumpy.” 

“I do enjoy a bumpy ride.” River said in a very suggestive tone of voice and Jack chuckled. 

“River Song, where have you been in all my lives?” He muttered. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She winked at him. “Get us out of here, Jack.” 

“Right away, madam!” He said. 

“Kinky.” She muttered with a teasing pout. 

“Don’t kink shame me.” He said with a wince as the enemy landed a hit that made the whole ship shake. 

“I’m not.” She shrugged, then she turned to her wife. “Hello again, sweetie. You know, Jack isn’t wrong, that is a very nice body.” She looked the Doctor’s body up and down, causing the woman to blush. 

“R-River, how…?” She was in a loss for words. 

“Wow, that’s the quietest I ever seen the Doctor, do you think we broke her?” Jack asked River, who shook her head. 

“No, her brains just need a kick start.” With that River leaned over and kissed her wife passionately, turning her legs to mush and causing the time lord to grab her wife’s upper arms for balance as she was thoughtfully snogged. 

“Aw, I’m jealous.” They heard Jack say as they broke apart, noticing the ship wasn’t shaking anymore. 

“Be my guest.” River said, stepping away from a dazed Doctor. In a second, her lips were being covered by Jack’s as he held her face gently. The Doctor sighed into the kiss and placed her hand on Jack’s waist as she accepted the kiss. Kissing both of them was like coming home, even if the Doctor didn’t know where her home was anymore. 

“I’ve kissed a lot of people to get to you.” He whispered against her lips as they broke apart. “Graham’s was surprisingly nice.” 

“Oi!” River called out from the console table. 

“Yours was better!” He called out to her. “But yours was perfect.” He winked at the Doctor. “Don’t let your wife hear that.”

“I heard that.” She called out again. “But I don’t mind, I know what you mean.” She winked at the two of them. 

“I’m in the middle of a fever dream.” The Doctor muttered as Jack let go of her face. 

“Oh, do you dream about us?” Jack asked. “At the same time? How kinky of you.” 

“Don’t kink shame her!” 

“I’m not!” He turned to River. “I’m not in a position to kink shame anybody, I had those dreams. Although, I was in a much better position if I recall correctly. I remember vividly about the time I…”

“JACK!” The Doctor yelled in a gasp to him, causing Jack to close his mouth. 

“I’ll tell you the details later.” He said to River, who nodded. “Why were you arrested by the Judoon, Doctor?” 

The Doctor sighed, finally letting the weight on her shoulders be dropped. She didn’t understand how this was possible, how River was there and how she knew Jack but she wouldn’t complain. They were the only people she knew she could trust completely and would pick up her pieces if she broke down. “It’s a long story.” She said. “It all started with that lone cybermen you warned be about, Jack.” 

“Let’s sit down, then.” River said. “The ship will take us home to Earth.” 

Home. Earth. The Doctor did consider Earth her home but looking at the two people in front of her she knew that her true home was them. It was were her hearts were.


End file.
